Gay date gone wrong

So I went on a date last week. An expensive one. I met him through okcupid. It didn’t go so well.

  1. The guy didn’t look that much like his picture. Some skin issues that kind of repulsed me. If I saw a clear face pic I would’ve been able to make that call before meeting. Also weight – I’ve seen someone his height and weight and they looked kind of hot. For him, I kind of got the impression he just let his body go. No full body pics on the site. Now I know the reason why.
  2. Bad breath. Usually people like to brush their teeth before a date. His breath was figuratively kicking.
  3. Self-deprecating. Yes it was humorous but have a little self esteem on a first date.
  4. On my way to the car, I bird pooped on my hand and they totally bombed the side of my car.

The big one though… The bill… I usually don’t spend that much on restaurants in a week. I had two drinks, he picked the most expensive appetizer on the menu and had two drinks also. Toward the end of our exchange, the server came out and said do you want it together or separate. Before I could utter a word he said together. At this point I was thinking to myself why… I probably won’t want to hang out with you again and don’t want you to expect anything.

When the check came out I paid for the whole thing. $98 with the tip. I was a little tipsy. Unless my date is from a sugar daddy site I think it’s reasonable to split it. He didn’t. He made the assumption I should pay. I was down for the rest evening because I felt a bit used and my dating life has been crappy since getting out of my relationship.

I wonder what would Ramit Sethi say. I’d venture a guess, something about Indian culture and it being cheaper to learn this lesson now rather than later. I at least gave the dude the benefit of the doubt.

Month 37 Update – Navient $18,183.81, NMAC – $14,247.88 401k – $8408.85, Roth IRA – $2478.02

Navient Month 37 Update

Navient Month 37 Update

Betterment Update - May 11, 2015.

Betterment Roth IRA Update – May 11, 2015.

401k Status - May 11, 2015

401k Status – May 11, 2015

For my car:

Payoff Quote

Payoff Amount: $14,247.88 

Good Through: 05/18/15

TDAmeritrade – Roth IRA – 697.02

One of my friends makes over $100k annually and has a net worth above $500k. I found out this through one of the dating sites we’re both on. He seems like a work-a-holic and is always traveling. His hair is basically white and he seems to have a very high amount of stress from his job. Also about 10 years older than I am. My salary is close to half of what his is. So I started thinking. Is it possible I could have a net worth of $250k in a decade? The short answer is yes, but I may need to cut back my spending, start earning more and get gazelle intense with savings.

Month 36 Update: Navient $19,310.05 NMAC – $14,527 401k – 7787.93, Roth IRA – 2133.27

Three years since I started this blog. I owed about $42k to Sallie Mae. Now I’m down to $19,310.04.

Navient Month 36 Update

Navient Month 36 Update

Betterment balance 4/5/2015 - $1488.76

Betterment balance 4/5/2015 – $1488.76

Continuing to invest $75/wk in Betterment for my Roth IRA. That’s more than my car payment. I really want to move to $100/wk but just not comfortable enough with that yet.

Roth IRA - TDAmeritrade 04062015

Roth IRA – TDAmeritrade 04062015

401k Balance April 2, 2015- $7787.93

401k Balance April 2, 2015- $7787.93

My Rate of Return on 401k is 8.64%, this is where the bulk of my money retirement is. I contribute the max of 6% of my income, the company matches 3%. My student loan is at 4.25%, so I feel pretty good about not diverting money away from retirement to get closer to debt freedom.

The same about my car payment. It’s 0%, so paying it off early makes no sense when I can get a positive return on my investment and stay ahead of inflation.I was looking at some late model Mercedes AMG models earlier. A 2006 model went for $114k, today  you can buy one for $23k and less than 60k miles. That’s for a 493hp V8. 15mpg city, 22 hwy. In 10 model years the car lost 80% of it’s value not to mention the high cost of maintenance.

I thought about the winters in New York and my old car. It was starting to show some rust near the rear suspension. I blame the salted roads up north. Some people with the car generation before mine reported the floor boards rusted out. This is in 2002-2006 Altimas, haven’t read anything about the 2007-2012 models but still. My exhaust system basically rusted out before it was replaced due to another service bulletin. Cars up north and near the ocean rust a lot faster.

Last but not least, it was recently the last air date of the Suze Orman Show. I’ve watched this show since the days I was in college. I may not have followed all her advice but it certainly helped my get inspired about getting my financial situation under control. I will miss seeing the episodes streaming every Sunday and hearing people’s stories. Dave Ramsey show is good but doesn’t resonate with me as much as a non-evangelical Christian and a gay man. I owe a lot to my mom and Suze for helping me stay on track.

Some other good news on the horizon, will share it here once I get confirmation. :)

Month 35 Update – Student Loan 20,395.59, NMAC – 14,806.62 Roth – 1,816.31 401k – 7,235.94

Month 35 Debt Free 32 Update

Month 35 Debt Free 32 Update

Almost coming up on 3 years since starting the blog. Wow it’s been a while.

NMAC - Month 35 Update

NMAC – Month 35 Update

To recap my progress, I’m down to 30,395.59 on the Sallie Mae / Navient Loans. 14,806.62 on the Altima @ 0%.

Betterment Update 3/8/2015

1165.08 Betterment Update 3/8/2015

TDAmeritrade Update:

TDAmeritrade Roth IRA Update

TDAmeritrade Roth IRA Update

Employer 401k Update:

401k Balance Update - March 8, 2015

401k Balance Update – March 8, 2015

So I am down about $1,917 on the student loan vs last month. Much of it is thanks to money I got from the house. $6,000 more left. That’s about 30% of the current balance. I didn’t use all the incoming money toward the student loan as other bills were pending. My credit card balance is up to about $1k again, so between that money and my paycheck a good sum will go toward that.

Still working like crazy to get the big loan paid off. Will be getting a bonus in April and that’s gonna go right toward it. I don’t know for sure if I’ll have it paid off by the time I turn 33 but will be within a few months if everything goes according to schedule.

Outstanding money:
$6000 – Getting out of the townhouse
2392.24 – Previous employer bankruptcy claim – WARN Act
1653 – Previous employer claim – Lost wages assuming both of these estimates are correct.
Total: $10,045 So that’s close to 50% of the current SL balance. I expect to get paid for all 3 before my deadline.

I think I’m making good progress so far.

Indispensability & Salary

February 16, 2010 I read Seth Godin’s book Linchpin. At the time I worked in banking netting less than 50% my current pay. I knew that if I wanted to get my earnings up I’d have to switch companies and possibly switch careers entirely. I became increasingly more frustrated with where my future looked there. The next step up was assistant manager and even he didn’t make a whole lot more than I did.

Currently I enjoy my job, enjoy my team but I also feel like I’m not pushing myself hard enough to get promoted. So I need to become a Linchpin and use my skills to make me more valuable. Each week I need to set a smart goal like an hour a week. I’ll inevitably get hooked and want to do more but like the gym showing up is half the battle.

If I want to retire early or on time with a lot of cash I need to accelerate my annual earnings. If I don’t get promoted this year, I will be in the market to start looking for another company to work for. This is not something I want to do, but staying where I am for a long period will almost ensure I never get close to the the $100k gross target I want to hit by the time I’m 40. Then again I have almost 9 years until that happens. I just don’t want to screw things up for myself by getting comfortable.

At the same time…

  • I have good work / life balance now. We have busy moments of course and I have to put out fires but I don’t have someone yelling at me each day to do something. Been there before and it wasn’t a good arrangement.
  • My friends who make a lot more money than I do are way stressed out.
  • Once I get Navient paid off I can accelerate the process of putting money aside for retirement. Like minimally $6k in the Roth and $8k
  • It’s not all about money
  • It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing approach, I could dabble or multiple things with minimal risk. Keep trying at it until something has a pay off.
  • There’s always the possibility of being downsized. Doesn’t look likely, but life and business is fluid and you just never know sometimes….

A Story About Money & Dating

Recently had a bad experience in the dating scene. Well a couple recent, but this i the most extreme / recent one. A couple of issues…

  1. Driving around with a suspended license, the result of an accident when he was 19. That was about 8 years ago and he still hasn’t gotten it taken care of. First sign of irresponsibility. My concern is he would be pulled over at some point and arrested on the spot. He needs to pay about $1k to make it right.
  2. Driving around with no insurance on his car. Yet again another sign of irresponsibility.
  3. No bank account. Said his identity was stolen at some point. He opened one up after I called him out on not having one at 27. I’ve had a bank account for about 15 years…
  4. Didn’t finish college. Has a high school diploma, but still owes money for a few college classes he took but dropped out of. This means he is stuck at the one place he works for and little chance of growing future potential earnings elsewhere. When I first decided to see him I thought his act was more together that is was.
  5. Tattoos – has a bunch and one in a very pronounced location that isn’t easy to cover up. He also wears a lot of makeup. So much three of my friends who saw our picture together commented on it.
  6. Horrible credit. He wasn’t paying his student loan at one point and I wrecked his credit. So if it led to marriage and we wanted to lease an apartment together or buy a house with both of our names on it that would be be a huge burden.
  7. Not even thinking about retirement. I brought up the idea of putting  $10 a week and his answer was basically that he didn’t have it to put aside…

After only a week we would get into heated discussions about dumb things. He thought  I needed to humble myself more when I consider myself very humble as it is. Just because I like to be in a safe neighborhood and buy nice things doesn’t mean I’m what I would consider uppity or bougie. His brother was in a gang and did jail time, he had to spend a night in jail once for some infraction. Talked about inviting me to a street car show where out of shape, scantily-clad women would prance around with cigarette burns. Really not my thing.

The moral of the story. Don’t date someone who isn’t on the same page about money as you are. Especially someone who is radically the opposite. I want an equal or someone I can aspire to be. Or at the very least, a guy I can see potential in.

Month 34 Update: Navient – $22,313.50, NMAC – 15,085.99 Total: 37,399.49

February 4, 2015 - Student Loan balance update.

February 4, 2015 – Student Loan balance update.

So like I said I was going to get aggressive about paying the loans off this month. My tax return was about $2300. I made a $1000 payment on 1/15, $1447 on 1/30 and $452.76 on 2/4. So that’s 2899.76 in student loan payments and $279.37. So $3179.13 total. It was painful to spend that much on loans when there are other things I could be doing with that money. It was a necessary though if I ever expect to pay off these debts.

My total loan balance was in the 40s last month and now it’s the mid 30s. 25,137.39 to 22,313.50 so $2,823.89 down. I might not have a shiny iPad, 42″ television in my living room that will depreciate, expensive clothes or a fancy trip to say I went on but an 11% drop in my balance is nothing to scoff at. :) Just gotta keep up this momentum now.

Quick look back: Payments & Interest

So far…
Number of Payments: 109
Original Balance: $46,769.87
Total Amount of payments: $30,520.92
Amount applied to principal: $22,718.87
Amount applied to interest: $10,009.22
Current Balance: $24,200.02

I have this all in a table. I’ve come a long way. Still sickens me to know that I paid $10k interest for anything in my life. My car is 0% interest. I pay my credit cards in full to avoid paying $1 in interest. Yet the student loans. I managed to pay 5 figures in interest.

What you focus on is what you make a dent in. I’m about to make some huge progress on this student loan debt and am sort of giddy about it. Just shy of 2 years on the not super aggressive plan and and more like 12 months on the very aggressive one. Using all the money from the house, tax refund and my eventual bankruptcy settlement toward the loan. Don’t want to be irresponsible and I’m not sure I fully trust myself leaving it in a liquid account.

Things may be tight but I want to keep at this and not take another 13 years to pay off the loan. That is all.

So would you like 47 cents on the dollar?

A debt acquisition company sent me a letter in the mail last week. Basically I am entitled to over $2200 as part of the WARN Act settlement from the Purchasing Specialist position I held at the glass company before they files for Ch. 11. The question right now is basically when will I get my money. It could me 1 month or 12 months. No one is really sure.

I get this fancy letter talking bout how if I forfeit my rights they will mail me a check for about $1100 over the next 5 business days. It was tempting for a moment but I’ve already waited about 3 years for this to happen and who wants to lose 50% right off the bat just for being impatient. I certainly don’t, it’s giving away free money essentially.

I wonder how many desperate people fall for it, they just want the cash now. Who cares about the actual math… The fact they are willing to buy it also makes me think it will be sooner vs later. We shall see…


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