30-Life Crisis

Think I’m having a bit of a mid-life crisis. Looking back on the accomplishments of my life. Where am I now and what have I done over the course of my life. It’s kind of disheartening.

One of the guys I went to undergrad with is meeting with the CEO of a pretty huge networking company in New York City tomorrow.
Update: It was at the #structure conference, I don’t feel so bad now. 😛
He has also been on trips to Europe and across the US. I by comparison don’t have a passport and wouldn’t really be able to comfortably afford a trip to Europe until well after 2 years from now. My bf is also planning to go to a gamer meetup in a few months with a friend in San Francisco. I’m not going because a) I lack the vacation time and b) I simply don’t have $900 in disposable income for airfare / hotel / food.

I’m still scraping to get by on my $35k salary and student loans that still exceeds my annual income.

I cancelled my $50k life insurance policy at the $34 paid every month was starting to weigh on me. It is a whole life policy where it will reach the full face value decades and decades into the future. I do have a policy though my job that I pay for each pay period. In my opinion the money is better spent elsewhere. A 20 year term which Suze Orman recommends is what I plan to go with. Still trying to shop around for the best value. Exploring doing it with the company I have my car and life insurance through.

I’ve dealing with a minor health issue right now as well with my eardrum twitching. I’m not sure if it’s brought about by anxiety, but I have never experienced this for two days in a row and it’s a bit unsettling. I left work early and used sick time to go to the doctor and rest in general. They flushed out my ear and didn’t see anything majorly wrong.

I don’t just want, but I need the next 10 years to be better than the last. I stayed with jobs that were getting me nowhere, wasn’t the best at establishing friendships and let life control me instead of the other way around. I’ve been diligently looking at jobs to apply for but time and time again I read the reviews or see what type of experience is needed and say that isn’t going to work.

These issues have been a barrier to my success for quite some time now. I think I almost need to hypnotize myself into thinking positively and not being a bitter person.

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