I started seeing a therapist to address issues I’ve been having with Social Anxiety and some depression.
She charged $125 for our first visit, each one thereafter is $100. A little expensive yes but I think it’s worth it. I was in denial for the longest time.
What I haven’t mentioned on this blog is that I’ve spend over a year looking for friends online and the past 3 trying to make friends in general (with mixed luck).
Labor day weekend was particularly hard for me. One part because my mouth has been hurting and two because I felt such an intense feeling of loneliness. I laid in bed most of the day yesterday, only going out to walk the dog. On social media I saw friends post pictures having fun on the water, at barbecues, etc. I was wallowing in misery inside the house wishing someone would just ask me to do anything.
Today was much better though. Got a decent amount of sleep. Actually took a lunch break at work. Immediately after work I walked / sprinted 3.67 miles for an hour at a pace of 16:21 min/mi. Then I went shopping at Tom Thumb. Boyfriend made some delish matzo ball soup.
Last week our plumber came and fixed the downstairs shower. $250 later you can actually take a shower in warm water instead of ice cold. Bf wants to redo our bathroom upstairs and to do that we need one functional bathroom. Tomorrow a new handyman is supposed to take a look at some work we need done to the house. Minor work, like fixing doors that don’t close all the way, hanging closet that is dangling from the wall and sliding closet doors that don’t actually slide but instead get stuck and frustrate the hell out of me when all I wanted to do was pick out a pair of pants…
The old handyman I tried to have come by on two different occasions and no followup on his end. On top of that, the work he did to fix our showers didn’t hold up. So money down the drain figuratively speaking. Hopefully the local guy I found online is better.
So I’ve learned a few things about myself the last week:
- I have to take a break at work. If I don’t, I feel like I’m losing my sanity. Start to tread work and literally feel like a slave to money / the job.
- Plan things with friends. Things don’t happen with a plan for me. They used to, but not here. Not with early-stage friendships.
- I don’t like being alone. While I am introverted, the feeling of being by myself really takes a toll after a while. Especially on the weekends. I dreaded the weekends / not going into work for the longest time because of that.
- I need exercise. Without even maintaining my health, I start to feel down pretty quick.
- I don’t need to eat meat all the time. Could go 85% vegetarian and not really care. It can be significantly cheaper as well depending on how you plan it. Not to mention I feel more energetic without having to digest a huge portion of meat.
That’s my random post of the day. Hope you enjoyed. 😛