Recently had a bad experience in the dating scene. Well a couple recent, but this i the most extreme / recent one. A couple of issues…
- Driving around with a suspended license, the result of an accident when he was 19. That was about 8 years ago and he still hasn’t gotten it taken care of. First sign of irresponsibility. My concern is he would be pulled over at some point and arrested on the spot. He needs to pay about $1k to make it right.
- Driving around with no insurance on his car. Yet again another sign of irresponsibility.
- No bank account. Said his identity was stolen at some point. He opened one up after I called him out on not having one at 27. I’ve had a bank account for about 15 years…
- Didn’t finish college. Has a high school diploma, but still owes money for a few college classes he took but dropped out of. This means he is stuck at the one place he works for and little chance of growing future potential earnings elsewhere. When I first decided to see him I thought his act was more together that is was.
- Tattoos – has a bunch and one in a very pronounced location that isn’t easy to cover up. He also wears a lot of makeup. So much three of my friends who saw our picture together commented on it.
- Horrible credit. He wasn’t paying his student loan at one point and I wrecked his credit. So if it led to marriage and we wanted to lease an apartment together or buy a house with both of our names on it that would be be a huge burden.
- Not even thinking about retirement. I brought up the idea of putting $10 a week and his answer was basically that he didn’t have it to put aside…
After only a week we would get into heated discussions about dumb things. He thought I needed to humble myself more when I consider myself very humble as it is. Just because I like to be in a safe neighborhood and buy nice things doesn’t mean I’m what I would consider uppity or bougie. His brother was in a gang and did jail time, he had to spend a night in jail once for some infraction. Talked about inviting me to a street car show where out of shape, scantily-clad women would prance around with cigarette burns. Really not my thing.
The moral of the story. Don’t date someone who isn’t on the same page about money as you are. Especially someone who is radically the opposite. I want an equal or someone I can aspire to be. Or at the very least, a guy I can see potential in.